Lives, Continued
by Red Cat Lotty
Summary: Whatever might have been if things were different. Some random moments, from now, later and back then, not set in a timeline. Not beta-ed.
1. Essence of Love

_Two days after the Ichani Invasion_

Rothen was exhausted. They all were. From where he was standing in the hallway of the Healing facilities he could observe dozens of Healers and their patients as they shuffled from one place to the other, all faces pale and wary. These last two days were especially difficult for Vinara's people and Rothen felt sorry for their constant sacrifice. Most of them barely slept, just enough to regain some power to be able to work properly. If it wasn't for their efforts, far more casualties might have been registered.

If it wasn't for them both Sonea and Akkarin might have died then.

Rothen shivered with dread at the thought of loosing the girl, the closest thing he had to a daughter. And even though she promised that it wasn't Akkarin's fault, the older Magician will have to have a word with the ex-High Lord about keeping Sonea from stunts like that in the future.

When Rothen, Balkan and Dorrien made their way down from the roof hastily, he thought that he might cry. When they were leaving their high perch, Rothen glimpsed Sonea flinging herself at Akkarin's body, crying out his name and please for him to not leave her. But as they joined her there, the girl was silent, one hand on Akkarin's forehead, gaze unfocused. She was deathly pale and sweating, Rothen could also see that she was bleeding from a wound on her leg.

Her account of what happened then was a bit unclear. Especially since what she had described during the brief time she had been awake today was practically impossible, at least for normal Magicians.

Sonea confessed that if it wasn't for the pain of her own injury that pulled her back to her senses, she might have completely succumbed to panic and done nothing of what followed the fight. Fortunately she managed to somewhat gather her wits and try the impossible. From her tale the Higher Magicians that gathered in her tiny room then could gather that she had nearly separated her own consciousness from her body and dove into Akkarin's fading mind to ignite a spark of power that could allow him to live. Every one of the Higher Magicians confirmed that it had never been done and is apparently against some very basic rules concerning using one's magic. And yet, somehow, Sonea of the slums managed to pull her lover back to life long enough for Dorrien and then other Healers to barely manage the mortal wound that might have been Akkarin's demise.

There were complications, of course. Sonea had lost consciousness as soon as Dorrien's Healing power begun its work of helping her save Akkarin. She was unconscious for more than a day and, strangely, her power levels were extremely low until today, when Vinara observed slight improvement. They all suspected that it has something to do with her linking consciousness with a dying man.

Akkarin was a different matter completely. The dagger that had been lodged in his chest punctured a lung and nicked the wall of his heart, only metal stopping the organ from bursting. Vinara used every ounce of power she could spare to mend the tissue but was understandably worried – a scar has been formed that might cause him grievance in the future. It certainly did now, as Akkarin's weakened system couldn't cope, causing arrhythmia and respiratory problems. It took hours to stabilize him but finally his body, constantly stroked by Healing powers, took up the job of keeping him alive.

Sonea will be glad, Rothen thought.

He allowed himself to ponder that now, as he stood a way from the door to her room. His worries seemed do be true, it looked like his girl had really fallen for the Black Magician. Even though his motives were now clear to everybody, Rothen still had trouble forgiving the younger man for the years of pain and worry he had caused Sonea, Lorlen and him. What was he supposed to do now? Rothen felt responsible for Sonea but he could not find an answer to this question. They will deal with it in due time, he guessed.

Rothen spotted Lady Vinara approaching him and was about to greet her when he caught movement from the corner of his eye. The door he was just looking at opened and Sonea appeared in the corridor.

"You should be in bed," Rothen heard Vinara's irritated scoff.

"Where is he?" Sonea asked, ignoring the remark.

"He's in his room, resting. As should you."

"I need to see him." There was a stubborn glint in Sonea's eyes and Rothen could hear the agitation in her raised voice. She paid no attention to other people in the corridor, focusing on Vinara.

"You cannot," the Healer answered tersely, taking a step in the girl's direction. "He is unconscious. Besides we haven't decided anything in your case yet. Until the Meet you are to be supervised at all times, you should cooperate."

Sonea looked at her disbelievingly and was about to say something when another door opened not far down the corridor. After a moment a hunched figure stepped shakily from the doorway.

Rothen could see that Akkarin was barely able to stand. He swayed on his feet, even with the wall as a support. His face was deathly pale, the impression only deepened by the dark hair framing it. But his gaze was clear and focused, like always. Momentarily, he zeroed it on Sonea.

There was a moment of uneasy silence in which no one seemed to know what to do. Except for Akkarin, who fixed his grip on the wall, straightened just a bit and spat in the girl's direction:

"Are you out of your mind?!"

All eyes of the silent spectators moved to Sonea, who seemed speechless, clearly not expecting that. It took her a moment to gather her wits but when she did, her voice was angry.

"I was just about to ask the same thing, Lord Got-Stabbed-But-Going-For-A-Walk."

Rothen's eyes bulged as he heard the wry comment. He could hear a small cough from where Vinara was standing and a quick glance confirmed that her natural need to herd her patients back to their beds was battling for control with amused curiosity. No one in the corridor moved, probably afraid of provoking Akkarin wrath. But instead the man ignored the attempted sarcasm completely.

"Do you realize how dangerous that was?" he hissed, seeming oblivious to all the people watching the scene – his attention was completely focused on Sonea. "If I had died your mind would've probably been pulled with me!"

Sonea took a step in his direction and eyed him wearily.

"So I was supposed to let you bleed to death and do nothing?"

"You were supposed to _follow the order_ and avoid danger! You reckless…" at this Sonea bristled and made to interrupt him:

"Who's the reckless one! You impossible…" but Akkarin just kept talking like he wasn't hearing her, his face twisted with anger and pain. They were now throwing insult, somehow orbiting closer and closer, only to stop at an arm's length from each other:

"disobedient…"

"arrogant…"

"impatient…"

"pig-headed…"

"thoughtless…"

"selfish…"

"…infuriating woman!"

"…stubborn mule!"

When they ran out of names to call each other silence took reign in the corridor, only interrupted by Akkarin's ragged gasps. The angry outburst has clearly taken it's toll on his damaged body as he hunched dangerously close to falling, clutching his chest with his free hand. Rothen felt sorry for the younger man, usually so collected and seemingly indestructible.

Before anyone had time to react, Sonea was beside him, gently taking his hand off the wall and throwing it over her shoulder.

"See? _That_ was reckless," she admonished him, allowing Akkarin a moment to catch his breath before turning them both in the direction of his room. "And if you think that I will feel sorry for you, you've got another thing coming. Because that was cheating your way out of an argument."

Even though her voice was still angry, her moves were slow and gentle, careful not to jostle him too much. And for a split moment Rothen glimpsed something in the face of the ex-High Lord that he would never expect to see there – Akkarin looked at Sonea with infinite affection that could not be mistaken for anything else. Sonea seemed completely oblivious to the tender attention, too absorbed by her uninterrupted rant. Rothen stared after the couple as they made their painful way out of view of curious onlookers. _Well, that was interesting_, he thought.

"Did the girl just call the former High Lord an arrogant, stubborn mule?" he heard somewhere from the side, where one of the Healers joined Vinara. Similar gossip started to spread down the corridor like wildfire.

"I believe it was 'arrogant, pig-headed, stubborn mule," the Higher Magician replied, hiding a smile before following the lovers.


	2. Speechless

_Three months after the Ichani Invasion_

Sonea was pacing, anxiousness causing her to wring her hands together. Any minute now the door would open and they would have to face the harsh reality of their relationship arrangements, a topic that has somehow has not yet been addressed. With everything that has been going on lately they had little to none time for each other, more focused on dealing with the invasion aftereffects and their standing in the Guild that only recently has been decided on. Sonea suspected that if it wasn't for Akkarin's calm yet firm insistence, the Higher Magicians might have put far greater restrictions on the newly appointed Black Magician office.

Somehow – probably thanks to a lot of intimidation and years of experience in dealing with the Higher Magicians – the former High Lord has managed to convince them and the King that the Allied Lands could benefit greatly from their assistance. During two Meets it was established that the Black Magicians were to be allowed travel upon Guild or King's agreement (instead of confinement to Imardin's walls, as previously proposed) and be constantly vigilant to take up the responsibility of defending the Allied Lands from any threat. They were never to teach, never to leave the Guild's premises unsupervised and take up a number of other responsibilities (a number that was still growing). In the next weeks they would have to decide on choosing two apprentices. The notion that they might turn against the Guild was ridiculous in their opinion, especially that if they did, they would do everything to undermine the education of others that would be to stop them. Let them have their way, Akkarin had said then. Cooperation now will work in our favor later.

Everything seemed to be going in the right direction, both Sonea and Akkarin getting used to their new roles and it seemed that they might settle and lead fairly normal lives, Sonea in her new clinic, Akkarin helping with the political mess the Guild, Imardin and the Court seemed to be these days.

And now was the time to face the reality of being only humans.

By the time the door to her apartment opened, Sonea was a wreck of worry and misery, even if others might not be able to notice. But as soon as Akkarin's keen eyes found her standing by the window his brow creased. He could always see the small things. Her arms slightly hunched, the rim of her sleeve slightly rumpled from her worrying it between her fingers. The set of her jaw before she managed to pull her lips into a warm smile.

"You're back on time, that's a surprise," she said as he deposited his walking stick on a hanger. One that he didn't need but carried with him for support in the rare moments when he would suddenly run out of breath.

"I think we're finally over the city walls dispute," he supplied as an explenation and made his way to where she was standing.

"So you had a good day?"

"Fairly. Is something the matter?" he asked, tentatively brushing her bangs from her eyes. Sonea tensed but berated herself internally as he noticed at once, his frown deepening.

"No. Yes. I…" she took a deep breath to calm the rising panic. "We need to discuss some things."

Akkarin nodded slowly, obviously taking note of her making a few of steps to put physical distance between them. She couldn't focus when he was so close.

"What is it that you wish to discuss?" he asked, his expression carefully controlled.

"Us," she blurted. "There was so much going on lately and we never established some things. What are your plans towards me? We have separate lodgings but I practically live with you. We are lovers but you never hinted on being anything more. I need to know."

As the last words left her mouth Sonea took a cautious glance at him. Akkarin's face was expressionless but the set of brows betrayed trepidation. He took his time and she could feel worry rising in her again.

"These are difficult times, my dear Sonea," he finally said and the woman's heart clenched. This did not sound encouraging. "There is much happening now, so much to do that cannot wait. And in all this political fuss a relationship is a difficult matter, especially for someone like me." He watched her for a moment, the silence heavy and loaded. Sonea could feel her eyes water as his words hung between them. But before she had a chance to say anything, Akkarin continued:

"However, I fear the I have wronged you again. I assumed that you know my feelings for you and understand that they are true and strong. I probably should have make this clear before. Even though it is not possible at the moment I am planning on courting you properly."

He said nothing more but it was unnecessary. Sonea could feel the heavy burden of despair leave her as something warm and indefinable bloomed in her heart instead. She could feel herself smile.

"I'm glad," she whispered but still did not move into his arms.

"What brought this on, dear Sonea?" he asked and the woman sobered a little. It was her turn to gaze at him thoughtfully.

"I'm pregnant."

She watched him closely as he stood there, his face never changing its expression, betraying nothing of his thoughts.

"Oh," was all he said.

When Sonea decided that he was not going to elaborate, she folded her arms and said:

"Is this the only comment you have for becoming a father?"

This seemed to prompt him to move and Sonea realized that until now he was standing still as a statue. Now one of his hands rested on his hip while the other traveled to his neck, seemingly independently from his will.

"I'm not certain what to say," he answered, massaging his neck absent-mindedly. "I thought... that you would take care of that?"

"I wasn't exactly the social type, no one approached me, " she answered sourly, dropping her eyes to stare at the carpet and was about to say something about him not looking very pleased when his cold fingers came in touch with the robe on her stomach. She looked up at him with big eyes as his will extended to feel the tiny life growing inside her. When he was done, Akkarin's gaze focused on her and the corner of his lips raised.

"Well, that's that when it comes to courting then," he murmured, gathering her in his arms. "Now you have no excuse to not marry me."

She laghued and returned his hug.


	3. Language

**Author's Note**: I need honest, constructive feedback on this chapter, if you are willing to spare a moment.

_Three months after the Ichani Invasion_

Pavinna was appalled and agitated beyond words. Lord Balkan was not making it any easier for her with his apologetic attempts at countering her demands to stop her son from succumbing to what she firmly believed was some sort of a mental breakdown. The newly appointed High Lord and Administrator had been little help so far and seemed almost eager to let her son assist them in this situation. Even though she was hoping to talk some sense into them without involving the young man, her original plan of influencing the situation via the Guild's chain of command did not succeed.

Even though Payinna had never had the best relationship with her son, she was feeling obligated to intervene when he was about to ruin his life – life that he was ready to throw away for that… that… _dwell_.

There was a knock on the door and both High Lord Balkan and Administrator Osen seemed relieved when her son walked in.

Akkarin looked thin and worn, leaning heavily on his cane. His face betrayed none of his feelings but she could see him casting her a disturbingly cold glance before bowing his head to his now-superiors.

"High Lord, Administrator," he said. "Mother."

"Akkarin, I came here…" she began but he interrupted her rudely.

"I know why you are here, mother, I have been informed. And it is beyond me why you feel the need to bother the High Lord with your absurd demands. Who I am marrying is my personal business."

Payinna had to take a moment to collect herself as to not lash out at him. House Delvon was always one of the most privileged because of their close relations to the King and, until recently, to the High Lord of the Guild. And even though Akkarin had made it clear that royality has no influence here, regardless of his position in it, she believed that as one of the most important people in Kyralia she had a certain right to be heard and considered. Not many could say 'no' to Payinna Velan.

"I am certain that the High Lord," she had to catch herself to not pour her spite towards Lord Balkan into the title, "can understand that one like you cannot simply marry a _dwell_!"

"We already explained, Madam – this matter has already been addressed and consent has had to be given," Osen said cautiously, repeating their previous words for what felt like tenth time.

Akkarin shifted his eyes to where Balkan and Osen were standing and, to their collective surprise, sighed tiredly, putting a hand to his forehead.

"Do we really need to do this here, mother?" he muttered, shifting to put some more weight on his walking stick.

"Clearly, you need to hear this from someone other than your family! Both High Lord and Administrator seem to agree that this is a _bad ideda_."

"This is not what we've said," Osen muttered to himself sourly. Balkan said nothing, trying to avoid issuing any statements. It was clearly impossible to fight against Payinna Velan's opinion. He only hoped that Akkarin will be able to handle her.

Akkarin raised his head. The calm mask of aloofness was back in place.

"I have already acknowledged your opinions. Even though I am no longer bound to the House Delvon I understand your concern and choose to ignore it, as it is of no consequence. I realize that the Guild is perturbed as well and I can assure you, mother, it is not for the same reasons."

"That is even worse!" Payinna said, standing up from where she was sitting in a chair for the High Lord's guests and taking a step towards him. "If the Guild is not concerned about the reputation of their finest, it still has other issues with this absurd. All the more reasons not to marry her!"

Akkarin glared at her and Payinna had to fight the impulse to shrink away.

"I shall explain this to you, if the High Lord allows."

"Please do," Balkan answered, obviously glad that Akkarin has taken control over the situation.

"The Guild feels that our union might be dangerous to the Allied Lands," Akkarin continued. "This has nothing to do with Sonea's social standings. They are, however, aware that there is nothing they can do. The King is not opposed to us marrying and will not issue a ban order. Also, I am certain that the Higher Magicians had approached the topic as thoroughly as possible during the Meet concerning our situation."

Payinna took a moment to gauge the situation. Akkarin seemed to be getting agitated. His face was indifferent but she could see that he was putting some effort into controlling his breathing. Administrator Osen, whom she could see from the corner of her eye, was glancing at the Black Magician with obvious concern. She needed to change her approach.

"Dear son," she said, this time doing her best to sound soothing, gently pleading. "I understand perfectly. You are a noble man and feel obligated towards her. You've been through so much, it had to have taken a toll on you. It is only natural that you might have fallen for her charms…"

"Mother..." he growled and there was warning in his voice. But Payinna had to tell him, she had to make him _see_…

"Every man has needs. But I'm begging you, do not throw away your life because you feel obligated towards some low-life whore."

"Madam!" Lord Balkan said, indignation deepening a wrinkle on his forehead and Payinna realized that she might have over-done it. Her fear was confirmed when she looked back to her son.

Ever since he was a little boy, Akkarin was always calm and serious, not one for emotional displays. But now, as Payinna watched him with heavy heart, his mask of cold indifference seemed to shatter before her eyes, replaced by a feral scowl that promised every hell one could imagine. His eyes changed in to black slits full of contempt and his mouth pulled into a vicious snarl.

"I hope you understand that this conversation is over, _mother,_" even though his voice was deathly quiet, the last word – spat as if it burned his mouth – rang in Payinna's ears. She wanted to say something, to apologize in last attempt to get back on his good side, Akkarin beat her to it.

"We should not take more of the High Lord and Administrator's time. Let me escort you to your carriage." With that Akkarin made a step towards her and grabbed her arm roughly, pulling her to the door. When he was nearly to cross the threshold, he turned his head to throw a dark look at Balkan and Osen.

"I apologize for the inconvenience," he said and bowed his heard curtly, not waiting for their response. He shut the door behind him and dragged her down the hall.

"Akkarin…" she started saying, scared. She had come here against her husband's wishes, hoping to talk some sense into their son but it was becoming clear that this attempt might have put them further apart than ever before.

"No talking," he barked, sounding a bit out of breath. A look of pain was worming its way through his angry frown and Payinna feared that he was struggling with his injury more than he let on.

When they came out of the building, Akkarin steered them to the carriage she had arrived in. As the coachman opened the door for her, she was turned to face him almost forcibly. Even though his face was calm again, Payinna knew that he still seethed with rage.

"From now on I ask you to not contact me. You will not come to the wedding, even though you shall get an invitation. You shall not say even _one bad word_ about my future wife or our unborn child. Your grandson that you will hopefully never meet. Good day, mother."

The delivery of the speech was quiet, calm and efficient. As soon as he was done, Akkarin turned his back on her and left.

This was the last time they had ever spoken with each other directly.


	4. Snippets

**A/N:** Here, have some small drabbles. They were too short to be posted separately. Porcuswine, your chapter is already written down, I'll post it next!

_Some months after the Ichani Invasion_

**Bet**

The clean, white gravestone didn't stand out from all the other, not suggesting the importance of the man buried under it with anything else than the title engraved under the name – 'Guild Administrator'. And yet his visitor never had any problem finding it.

Akkarin stood there for a long time, lost in thought. When he finally spoke his voice was quiet, as if not to wake the dead.

"I am here to inform you," he said nonchalantly, looking at the white marble down the length of his nose, "that you have won the bet. I got married. I sired a child. She doesn't know it, but it is going to be a boy. A strong, healthy son. I have a family and you are not even here to mock me about it."

With that he bent slowly, supporting himself on his walking stick (his scarred heart ached unexplainably hard today) and gently deposited a single golden coin on the stone surface.

"Here is the amount we bet on." His mouth twitched in a half-smile. "I assume that I don't have to tell you to spend it wisely. I shall talk to you some other time," he added and turned to leave, well aware that the undertaker lurking in the shadow of the tall trees will snatch the coin as soon as he's gone.

**Persistence**

Any given man would dread it – but not him. Takan decided to consider it a challenge to his skill and continued to conquer every single one of Sonea's pregnancy cravings.

**Moment of Weakness**

When Takan entered the room carrying a conveniently forgotten dinner plate, Akkarin was sitting in an armchair by the window, wineglass in hand. An almost empty bottle was standing on a small side-table next to his elbow. The Black Magician turned to gaze at his friend as he set a full plate next to the bottle. Akkarin ignored it pointedly.

Takan regarded him carefully. Anyone else wouldn't be able to tell that something was going on but the servant could clearly see that something was bothering his master deeply. His arms were slightly hunched and there was a barely visible crease on his forehead that usually meant bad news. They eyed each other for a long period of time before Akkarin sighed heavily.

"I'm going to be a father, Takan," he said, resting his elbow on an armrest and prompting his forehead with his hand.

"Took you long enough to figure that out," Takan said, hiding a smile. Akkarin suddenly raised his head to stare back at him.

"I think I'm panicking a bit," he said, his eyes wide.

"Yes, you are definitely acting like a crazy person," Takan replied sarcastically. He was wondering when they would have this conversation and was happy that Akkarin wasn't holding it in for too long.

"I had never considered the possibility of living past the Ichani invasion. If anyone asked me to name the thing I do not feel qualified to do, raising a family is what I would name in the first place."

"I am certain that you will do fine. You handled the Guild for years and I seem to recall you calling them 'your little family' on many occasions."

"This is different," Akkarin muttered, looking out the window.

"I know. But you will manage, just like you manage anything you do, Master."

The Black Magician glared at him.

"It wouldn't kill you to call me by my name in moments like this. Your consolations might be more effective," he grumbled before reluctantly grabbing the plate Takan had brought him.

**Sleep**

Akkarin liked to watch Sonea interacting with her patients.

After the King had allowed him to work incognito in the city to quietly investigate the rumors of a new group meddling in Imardin's affairs, he would sometimes come by the clinic in a street attire that almost completely concealed his identity and just observe her for a few minutes.

He couldn't deny that he loved her.

**Care**

Shortly after the small wedding ceremony Akkarin approached Rothen. The older man regarded him carefully, trying to fight his disdain.

"I think congratulations are in order, Black Magician Akkarin," he said politely.

"Lord Rothen," the younger man said and his deep eyes bore into Rothen's soul. "I would like to ask you for a favor."

"_Now_ you're asking me," Rothen could hear himself say and regretted it immediately. Sonea would be angry if she found out how much he disliked her husband. Luckily Akkarin did not comment on his remark.

"I know that Sonea loves you," he said, making Rothen blink. That was a weird thing to say, especially coming from Akkarin. "And I know that you love her. That is why I wish to ask for your help." Rothen could see his eyes flicker to the side as if he was checking if they were alone. He then looked back at Rothen and his gaze seemed strangely open. His mouth twitched.

"I have no experience with love," he said, making Rothen stare. "I wish for the best for Sonea and the child. That is why I would like to ask you to… be around. Make sure that… that she is happy. That I treat her right."

There was a long pause as Rothen gaped at the Black Magician. For the first time since Rothen knew him Akkarin looked openly uncomfortable. He imagined that it was not easy for him to ask for this. Rothen smiled and put a hand on the man's shoulder – something that probably not many had attempted.

"The fact that you are asking me this is a sign that you are doing a good job, my boy," he said and felt gratified when a small, surprised smile showed on Akkarin's lips.

**Cold**

Sonea hated Akkarin's cold fingers in the winter. Fortunately his lips were always hot against her skin.

**Uncle**

Sonea was seething with rage. She was almost two hours into labor and Akkarin was still not here. Even Vinara's calm reassurance that he had to be on his way did not calm her.

That, combined with the increasing pain that would only go away for a short time with help of her healing power, made her want to hit him when he finally showed up.

"Where _were_ you?" she growled as he approached her bed. "What was so important that you couldn't come to your wife when she's giving birth?!"

Undeterred by her rage Akkarin gave her a small smile.

"A few days ago you said that you wish that Cery could come be here when the child is born," he said. "I went to get him."

Sonea stared at him with wide eyes. Her vision blurred a little.

"I love you," she said and soon moaned with pain. She could vaguely make out Vinara's voice shooing her wonderful, wonderful husband from the room.


	5. Indignant

**A/N:** I dedicate this chapter to **Porcuswine**, since she was the one that had given me the idea for it - thanks ;) Also, a shoutout to **Nhu Angel:** get yourself an account so I can answer your reviews properly! :)

_Six months after the Ichani Invasion_

Rothen tried to stifle his amusement at Akkarin's scowl of annoyance. The younger man was still looking bad but some color was coming back to his face and he was stubbornly too eager to go back to his work.

Rothen had come by Akkarin and Sonea's quarters with permission from the girl to let himself in and leave the book he had borrowed in the living room since both her and her newly-wed husband were supposed to be tending to their duties in the city. When the Magician had entered their abode he found Akkarin on the floor, barely conscious and deathly pale. Even though Rothen was still holding a grudge, he couldn't leave him like that. So he had send a mental call of needing a Healer. Surprisingly, both Vinara and Sonea showed up almost at the same time.

"Maybe we could do this some other time?" Akkarin asked, doing his best to ignore Sonea's glare. He had given her quite a scare – again. Rothen suspected that they will have a long conversation about that later.

"Maybe we could, if you only decided to grace me with your presence in the Healing Quarters every once in a while, Black Magician Akkarin," Vinara answered sourly. It wasn't a very well known fact but the Head Healer had a soft spot for the ex-High Lord and her worry tended to show with boasts of irritation, often mistaken for disdain. "But since there are always more important things to do than to take care of your health…" she didn't finish. Instead, she put her hand on Akkarin's chest and focused her powers. When she was done, she reached for the bag she had brought with her and produced a small glass bottle filled with some sort of blue powder.

"Here, two spoons in a glass of hot water once a day," she said, putting the container on a side-table. "You haven't been exercising like I told you to," she added with accusation in her voice. Akkarin's lack of answer to that only confirmed her words. The man looked almost too tired to keep up all his usual barriers, annoyance rolling off of him in waves.

"Black Magician Akkarin," Vinara said, getting angry. It had always bothered her how difficult it was to get anything out of the man. "Your heart is barely functioning. If you don't exercise your circulatory system will fail and the walking stick you are so annoyed with will be the least of your problems. You have other people to think about now."

"I always had other people to think about, Lady Vinara," he snapped and even Rothen could see that he was getting irritated as well. He didn't notice Sonea's frown deepening at his remark. "But this is besides the point. I _have_ been exercising, even if it was not as often as it should. I am planning on making a full recovery by the time my son is born."

"You have to face the facts," Vinara said, her voice softening. "You are not getting much better. Your limbs are weak because of the circulation problem and the dizzy spells are not lessening. I know that it is hard for a man like you to hear. But not only do I doubt that there is much more you can do, I fear that if you don't end up bed-ridden, you will be bound to this cane for life."

Rothen and Sonea watched them both from the side. Vinara seemed genuinely concerned but her face betrayed determination to make him understand. Akkarin on the other hand looked the picture of carefully controlled fury.

Everyone knew about his disdain for the walking stick and if it wasn't for the utmost necessity he would probably get rid of it as soon as he'd gotten it. Rothen and Sonea had once spoken about it and decided that it had to be an extremely difficult situation for a proud man like Akkarin. As a person that felt the need to seem collected, strong, _invincible_, he probably loathed the symbol of being degraded to a mere mortal. Sonea always repeated that he was a wonderful man but his ego was his own enemy.

Akkarin was glaring at Vinara, his knuckles white from the force he was gripping the cane with. He spared a glance at Sonea, then at Rothen and the older Magician could almost see the thoughts running through his head. What followed might look completely different if they were no there.

"Thank you for your opinion," Akkarin's mutter was low and a shiver ran down Rothen's back. It was the voice that had once plagued many magicians' nightmares, "but I assure you that I would rather train myself to magically support my body's ability to function properly night and day than allow myself to be crippled like that. I have a family to care for and a country that needs me as a fit, efficient defender, Lady Vinara. I have obligations that are forcing my actions."

With that he stood up and left the room, pointedly leaving the cane behind. Rothen was quite certain that he will regret that later.

To Rothen's surprise both Sonea and Vinara smiled at his retreating back.

"Let us only hope that this is enough," Vinara said as the front door closed behind him. Rothen had to take a moment to connect all the dots.

"You planned this," he said, bemused.

"Everything went perfect," Sonea said. "Well, except for the part where he had a dangerous attack. But it worked in our advantage in the end."

"Let us hope that this talk we had was enough to inspire Akkarin to take enough care of himself."

"You could have told me that you are planning on using me like that," Rothen smirked. "'Let yourself in, Rothen' – how could I not suspect anything!"

"We're just that good," Sonea chuckled as she began serving her guests some sumi. She then turned to the Head Healer. "I knew he was feeling unwell today so it was a perfect opportunity."

Rothen had to agree. A direct approach might have never had that effect and who knows how long it would take the Healers to persuade Akkarin to act. He smiled, recalling the man's reaction.

"I thought that he might throw that cane at your head, Lady Vinara."

"For a moment I feared that myself," the older woman said with a smile.

Akkarin never used the cane again.


	6. Instincts

_Five years after the Ichani Invasion_

Administrator Osen was not only tired, he was tired and worried. Just when the Guild and the King thought that there was progress in the political situation between Kyralia and Sachaka might be improving enough to think of establishing peaceful contact, _this_ happens. Again.

Spies were an expected occurrence and unofficial consent was given to sending them to neighboring countries. The King's Court knew of all Sachakan spies and vice versa. But when a rumor was confirmed that foreign parties were causing secret disturbance amongst the poor _and _trying to infiltrate the Guild they decided that steps must be taken to at least find out what this was all about. After a short debate Balkan had decided that Akkarin should be brought in on the subject since he was the most experienced in dealing with Sachaka and its illegal affairs. After the Ichani invasion five years ago it had been established that if the need arises, it should be Akkarin and Terelon, another of the four Black Magicians of the Guild, who would deal with what the Guild liked to call "mercenary" work – both high and low-profile disturbances that might require Guild's involvement. SO far there weren't all that many but they had a feeling that this might change soon.

Both him and Balkan expected the next hours to be tiresome and aggravating. That might have been the reason why they had decided to fetch Akkarin and Terelon themselves, to stretch their legs and use the opportunity to discuss other affairs that were put aside earlier and needed addressing. Having Terelon following them, they were now knocking on the door to Akkarin and Sonea's apartment at the top floor of the Magicians' Quarters.

They were all surprised when it was Sonea's aunt that greeted them instead of Akkarin's ever-so-faithful servant, Takan. The woman looked startled at the sight of the three men.

"We are here to see Black Magician Akkarin," Balkan said. "I understand that he is here."

Jonna seemed uncertain, she cast a quic glance over her shoulder in the direction of the Black Magician's private rooms before turning back to them.

"He is, my Lord. But he is… um… otherwise engaged at the moment with his wife and son."

Osen could clearly see that Balkan was getting irritated fast. He too glanced at the half-open door to Akkarin's chambers and fixed the servant with a stern glare.

"Summon him anyway, I am certain that he can spare a moment…"

"Daddy, no!"

The voice that interrupted him undoubtedly belonged to Lorkin, Akkarin and Sonea's four-year-old son.

Lorkin was a quiet, calm child that showed great love for his mother and utmost respect for his father. It was a widely acknowledged opinion that the cold, distant man could not have the best relationship with his little boy. Every time they showed in public together, Lorkin was acting meek and submissive, always addressing Akkarin with humble respect that did not fit a small child.

Whet they heard now was a loud, pleading gasp, even more unnerving because of the fact that Lorkin had never called Akkarin anything else than "father".

"Mommy, _help!_"

"I can't he's too strong!" they could hear strain in Sonea's voice and after exchanging quick looks the High Lord and his companions pushed past Jonna and hurried to where the vices were coming from. It seemed that their fears were confirmed – Akkarin, the Black Magician, has turned to the side of evil and was hurting the ones close to each other. He was always a dark person, Osen thought. To think that we believed he would not abuse his power… they were fools.

Plans were going through his head. It was luck, actually, that Terelon's quarter was closer to the enterance and that the Black Magician was now accompanying them. As the snuck closer to the door as to have the advantage of surprise Osen only hoped that the Black Magician was powerful enough to stop Akkarin.

They silently opened the door wider, intending to ambush him before he had the time to prepare. And stopped dead in their tracks at the scene before them.

Akkarin was kneeling on the floor in his night clothes, looming over his wife which he was holding down with one hand, capturing both her wrists. Sonea was panting, her face red from exertion and nightgown tangled around her thighs. Above her, in an almost invisible sphere was Lorkin, dangling upside-down with one leg trapped in the sphere's wall, squirming futily to get free.

Akkarin was tickling him mercilessly.

"Daddy, please, noooo-oo-kh-ahahahh!" the child howled, unable to stop the laughter. Seeing this, Sonea struggled to get free again, only to squeal when Akkarin's attention shifted to her. The woman's hands were magically pushed to the sides, spread wide. Her eyes grew large.

"Akkarin don't you dare," she panted but it was too late. The man's teeth flashed in a wide grin as he ran his long fingers down her sides, producing uncontrollable chortle from the woman. A moment later Sonea glanced to the side and before he knew it Akkarin was hit straight in the face with a levitating pillow. Lorkin giggled, delighted.

Jonna chose this moment to announce the presence of their guests by clearing her throat loudly somewhere behind the bemused men.

The small family paused their activities, heads spinning in their direction. The wide grin disappeared from Akkarin's face, replaced by a more usual expression of one eyebrow raised in polite inquiry, Lorkin gently floated into Soneas's now free arm.

"Yes?" the Black Magician said as calmly as always.

"Um…" Osen stuttered, embarrassed. What were they _thinking_? That Akkarin would ever turn on them? That he would hurt the same person he had almost died defending? They only made fools of themselves watching furtively what seemed to be a very private moment, not meant for anyone's eyes.

"W-we have an important matter to discuss. It cannot wait," Balkan seemed to compose himself better than the Administrator. Terelon stood behind him, trying to look as small as possible. Akkarin had that effect on the young man regardless of the situation.

"Can it at least wait the five minutes it will take me to get dressed?" Akkarin asked in an amused voice, mercifully not addressing the fact that his two superiors and another Black Magician were basically peeping at his door.

"Of course," Balkan said and the three men turned to leave. Osen got a glimpse of Akkarin reaching out to help Sonea off the floor.

When the Black Magician emerged from his chamber some minutes later he was the Akkarin they all knew. Black robes impeccable, previously tousled hair now neatly pulled into their usual style, face calm but serious. He took a seat in one of the chairs and they all waited patiently for Jonna to serve the guests their sumi. A couple of minutes later the bedroom door opened again to reveal Sonea and Lorkin, both dressed for the day.

"I'm taking Lorkin to the library. We'll continue the lesson you started yesterday," she addressed Akkarin, helping her son into his winter coat.

"Good," he answered, glancing their way. "Lorkin, please show your mother where we finished. Remember to repeat what you've learned before advancing."

"Yes, father," the boy answered meekly and bowed politely to the four men before leaving with Sonea. Akkarin didn't spare another look at his family, instead focusing his keen gaze on Balkan.

"Let me hear about this important matter then," he said.

**A/N:** This is my favourite chapter of this story, I started writing it having this particular scene in my head. It goes as far as having an illustration, you can find a link in my profile or look for tiger-scribbles on deviantart.

Also, this is a sort of a prelude to another story that I am writing, one with an adventure storyline and all. Keep an eye out for it, I should post the first chapter in a week or two. That means that I might have less time for this one and won't be able to update as often but I think it's going to be worth it ;)


	7. Fatherly

_Three months after the Ichani Invasion_

It was difficult for Rothen to remain calm in face of what Sonea had told him earlier. As she was tending to her patients the older Magician pondered on the whole situation. _Pregnant!_ When did that happen? Well, obviously, not too long ago. Sonea had confirmed that it was Sachaka that had brought her and Akkarin together and as Rothen observed his little girl he could see that she was head over heels with the man. There were many reasons for Rothen to be bothered by this unfortunate infatuation and that was what he was trying to figure out at the moment – how to approach the whole subject.

He had already known that Sonea's opinion of the former High Lord had changed dramatically after she gained knowledge of his situation. But he would have never expected her to fall for Akkarin. He was a difficult character, withdrawn and unemotional most of the time. And knowing the history of his enslavement, Rothen suspected that physical scars were not the only ones he was sporting. He, of course, felt bad for the Black Magician's circumstances but what was far more important for Rothen was if Akkarin will be able to become the man Sonea needs and deserves. Somehow he doubted it, even keeping in mind the small glimpses of affection Akkarin was showing towards the girl.

It did not ease Rothen's mind in the slightest that his own son was also struggling with the situation. Dorrien had returned to his village over a month ago but even then he seemed to want to linger. Rothen could see that his boy was trying his best to move past this but he feared that Dorrien might be harboring the same hopes Rothen had had about the flame of passion born in dangerous times burning out to leave Sonea available again. Now these hopes were obviously lost, especially as Akkarin had already confirmed his intention to marry the young woman.

Rothen was angry. The man had caused enough trouble for Sonea and even though marrying her was the most honorable solution, Rothen feared that too much trouble might come from this. There was too much wrong with the way theings were and Rothen could feel righteous fury rising in him at the thought of all the things Sonea has been – and probably will be – bereft because of Black Magician Akkarin. Freedom, education, a chance to live a little. Did she even realize that she would never have these things?

He needed to cool off, he really did. The only thing Rothen wished for right now was to sit in an armchair in the sunny spot in his living room and have Tania serve him some sumi. This train of thought was getting him too worked up and it would do him no good to go down the path of hatred. What's done is done and he should focus on supporting Sonea as much as possible.

For now he decided that renting a book would be a splendid idea. It would take his mind off of things and allow him to re-examine his thought at a later time. Confident in his resolution, Rothen made his way to the Magicians' library. He could already feel himself calming down a bit.

He did not expect to see Akkarin in the anthenaeum.

The younger magician was seated facing the entrance, partially hidden between enormous bookcases. He was pouring over one of four huge tomes laid out before him while his escort for the day sat near, reading his own, smaller book. Looking at the serene scenery Rothen could feel all thoughts of calming down evaporating and soon found his legs moving briskly, carrying him to where Akkarin was leaning over the table. As soon as the Black Magician spotted him Rothen pointed an accusing finger in his direction.

"_You._"

"Lord Rothen," Akkarin answered politely, seeming unperturbed by his rudeness. "I see that Sonea shared the news with you." A glint of amusement that briefly passed in his eyes only served to infuriate the older Magician even more.

"What were you _thinking_?" Rothen asked, vaguely aware of a soundproof barrier being raised around them. "Taking advantage of her innocence like that and in the worst possible moment!"

To his absolute dismay Akkarin laghued quietly, fixing Rothen with an amused stare for a long moment.

"Did it ever occur to you that I might not, in fact, be the instigator of this relationship?" Akkarin watched carefully as Rothen's expression changed from fury to something akin to bafflement. After everything the Black Magician had done to them it had never occured tot he older man that Sonea might have been the one to pursue Akkarin. Even though he understood that she's been siding with the former High Lord for a long time now Rothen prefered to believe that it was more of an obligation for her.

"Yes, Lord Rothen," Akkarin said, smirking crookedly when Rothen did not answer. "It was actually your innocent, little Sonea that seduced me." Seemingly as an afterthought, he added: "She seemed quite determined, too."

Rothen was at a loss. How did a ninteen years old girl manage to sway someone as detached as the young man sitting before him, and in a matter of days? Unless... Rothen's face paled.

"How long has this been going on?" he said, his stomach sinking. Akkarin scowled but soon his countenance shifted into its usual mask.

"Your assumptions are so biased, Lord Rothen," he said. "Even though I had a certain... inclination long before our exile, it was not my intention to pursue a romantic relation with my novice. Believe it or not but I want what is best for Sonea."

"Oh, really?" Rothen asked sourly, taking a seat opposite Akkarin. Part of his fury ebbed, turned into something akin to embarrassed astonishment, especially as Akkarin sighed tiredly and rubbed at his still aching chest.

"I had a plan," he muttered. "And Sonea was not part of it. What I did take into account was not living past the invasion. Do you really think I would have wanted to do that to her?"

Rothen didn't answer. Instead he regarded Akkarin with thoughtful disilusion. He could not push this away any longer - Akkarin had a point. He was many things. Arrogant, cold, much too straightforward. But he was never unnecessarily cruel. As much as Rothen loathed the Black Magician for his previous actions, he could not deny that this whole misadventure regarding his secret probably could not be dealt with any different. At least not when it came to Sonea, Administrator Lorlen and himself. Rothen felt tired.

"And what is your plan now?" he asked tiredly.

"To do what needs to be done, of course." Akkarin's face was calm and serious but his gaze was stormy.

"This doesn't sound very encouraging," feeling a bit bolder the older magician added: "You don't sound very lovestruck or even very happy."

"I do not feel the need for exuberance around you, Lord Rothen, just as you apparently do not feel the need to trust my words" Akkarin answered coldly. The older magician could feel his irritation rise in defense almost instantly.

"I only want what is best for Sonea and her child," Rothen snapped and almost winced - he did not want to sound so defensive. Akkarin leaned back on his chair and the veneer of civil politeness was gone from his face, replaced by something cautious and dark. Rothen was aware that he sounded much too condescending but the fierce disapproval he was feeling did not let him allivate the tension.

"As long as you are not meddling too much I am all for it," Akkarin was again the picture of the intimidating High Lord. Rothen could feel himself scowl.

"Sonea is an adult, this is her decision and her life. But if I see that things are going downhill I will..."

"You'll _what_?" Akkarin interrupted with grim amusement. "As far as I remember you did not fare too well the last time you worked against me."

Rothen hesitated for just a moment and he knew that it was all it took. He realized that he had lost the battle as soon as a crooked smile raised the corner of Akkarin's mouth. Standing up, he gestured for the Black Magician to drop the barrier.

"Thank you for the chat, Black Magician Akkarin," he said gravely. "I look forward to the freeday dinner."

"As do I, Lord Rothen. Have a pleasant evening," he heard in response and even though Akkarin sounded perfectly polite, his face was clouded.

This did _not_ go as Rothen hoped it would.


	8. Constant

**A/N:** NhuAngel, I warned in the summary that there is no timeline ;)

Nevertheless, I do intend to put the chapters in order when I deem this story complete.

* * *

_A year after the Ichani Invasion_

Sonea was not a very happy person that day. Akkarin didn't come home for dinner, having to help with the Alchemics' new experiment.

After the Ichani Invasion the Guild decided that it was too dangerous to have so many buildings soaked with magic scattered around the city without no protection. So they had decided that steps must be taken that would not require the Magician to use too much power at any given time. Even though Akkarin suspected that the rest of the Ichani were unable to form an alliance that would not break in a matter of days, Balkan preferred to be safe than sorry. And they all had to admit that giving the Magicians something meaningful to do had been a good way of lifting the heavy mood that hung thickly around the Guild.

At least for the first half a year.

Now, over a year after the invasion, the works were moving slowly, irritating everyone involved. Some of the uninvolved as well. Sonea was in a tight spot between an overworked father figure (Rothen still struggled with all his new responsibilities _and_ had to overlook the project) and an irritated, tired husband whose guilt over the whole Ichani business would push him to work on the shielding spell even harder than the Alchemics involved. It wasn't all very clear to Sonea but from what she'd gathered, creating a new spell (in this case – a binding one that could work as a shield for the power that kept the buildings together) was a difficult process requiring much effort, time and power. Akkarin would often come back home exhausted and angry that they had wasted a moth on an approach that would prove a dead-end. It angered Sonea that he was giving too much again.

On the other hand, he and Rothen were getting along pretty well these days.

Sonea sighed, sinking into her favorite armchair by the fire. A moment later the door to Lorkin's nursery opened and Takan emerged, closing it quietly.

"He is asleep," he announced, moving to stand next to her.

"Thank you Takan, I can't tell you how grateful I am for your help," Sonea said, smiling. Indeed, she was. Jonna didn't always have time to help Sonea with the baby and with everything going on Takan was a lifesaver. She often wondered where he had learned how to take care of an infant so well.

"No thanks needed, my Lady. Little Lorkin is, after all my Master's firstborn son," the servant said mildly. "Would you like anything to drink, my Lady?"

"No, thank you. I still have some raka left. Care to join me, perhaps?"

To her surprise and delight, Takan nodded and sunk into another armchair. She noticed that this move seemed completely natural, as if it was a normal thing to do for a servant. But she was also aware that her husband's relationship with the Sachakan man was not what they made it look and she suspected that the men would often sit together and talk like equals. Even though many aspects of their friendship were being withheld even from her, Akkarin and Takan shared a unique bond.

"It's been a hard day," she sighed and her companion confirmed with another nod. They talked about her three-months-old son for a moment, only to fall into comfortable silence.

"I'm glad that you didn't leave after the invasion," Sonea said, feeling the need to express her gratitude. "I don't know what we would have done without your help. I don't know what Akkarin would do."

Takan looked at her, surprise visible in his dark eyes.

"My place is at his side," he answered carefully. Sonea could see that he wanted to say more and waited patiently. Finally, he looked at the fireplace and then back at her. His expression was serious and open. "Thank you for keeping your promise. For keeping him alive."

Sonea smiled.

"No need to thank me, it was something I would have done anyway."

"I know."

It was her time to be surprise. Seeing her face he smiled.

"I could see it before you did," he said sagely and then chuckled. "The Master could never hide these things from me. And you… It was quite predictable, actually."

Sonea smiled.

"Maybe," she said. They fell into silence again, both probably remembering small moments from the years she's been living in Akkarin's residence. Their meals, full of hostile glances that with time changed into something easy, friendly even. Akkarin always meeting her after her lessons. This one time she had woken up to him watching her sleep. Akkarin stalking the residence in a sulking mood when he couldn't sleep, only to hide in his bedroom when he would meet her in the hallway. Sonea suspected that his nightmares were often causing severe insomnia.

"Can I ask you about… before?" she said cautiously. She's been meaning to get to know more for a while now and tonight's mood was strangely adequate for such talk. Takan must've felt the same way, for he inclined his head.

"What was he like, when you met him?" she asked, impulsively, aware that Akkarin was probably too busy to listen in on them through the blood gem. Takan regarded her for a moment.

"He was scared. Humiliated. His pride would often get the better of him. But he adapted fast." Sonea nodded, she could imagine that. A young man, not much older than herself, ripped from his comfortable life and pushed into a position that he could place in his worst nightmares. A young man that grew to become something more.

"It's good that he had you to guide him," she said, meaning every word. The melancholic mood was weighting on her heart but she needed to know these things and she wanted Takan to know the extend of her gratitude, even if she had to repeat her thanks a hundred times. "How did you two become close?"

"He needed someone who would show him about. Since I was involved with most chores in the camp, I have been chosen. We were both not much for talking so it was comfortable to have him around. It is always good to have someone watching your back and so we did. It builds trust."

"Yes, I know," Sonea answered, thinking of Cery and the gang. Was their community sort of like a slave camp without a master? They had difficult lives but with the support of others, they managed. She briefly wondered if it was the same thing that happened between her and Akkarin. They guarded, supported, consoled each other when times were difficult. But now this bond was slowly fading and Sonea wondered what she was doing wrong.

Akkarin seemed to be avoiding home these days. He would dive into work – tasks that should be done by at least three people. And probably could, if he let others in on them. From her perspective Sonea could not understand why he would put all these insignificant little assignments before his wife and son. Especially his son. Sonea knew what she was getting into when marrying him, she realized that he was a man devoted to his work and Country. But she feared that when Lorkin grows older he will not be able to understand why his father was _not there_. This concern haunted her dreams of their future and Sonea was constantly thinking of what to do to make Akkarin see his wrongdoings. But the more she pushed, tried to get his attention, the more her husband pulled back, hiding behind his cold demeanor.

Sonea knew he loved them – she could sense it in his thoughts. That is why she felt so helplessly confused.

"How do you do it?" she asked wistfully. "How do you keep him close?"

"It might have something to do with the blood gem constantly invading him with my thoughts and feelings," Takan answered with a small smile. "But I am also persistent. He tends to push people away. If they let him." He then gazed at her pointedly.

Sonea considered that carefully. She had to admit that she was not doing much to pull Akkarin back to them. Perhaps she had been assuming things that she shouldn't? Naively, she concluded that his cold demeanor was a sign of disinclination or even dislike and retaliated with crude anger born of helplessness. But what if in reality he was the one that needed directions – for a change?

"He is so bad with people," she breathed and smiled wistfully. Takan only nodded and she was glad that she did not have to explain her train of thought to the faithful servant.

"No one is good at everything," he surmised. Perhaps they would talk more if it wasn't for the front door opening quietly.

Akkarin looked worn and angry as he strolled in the direction of their bedroom, not even sparing a glance at the duo. _The spell did not work,_ Sonea guessed from his distracted gloom and felt sorry for all the wasted effort. But at the same time there was a pang of hopeful relief. Maybe this time Akkarin will take a small break. Maybe this time she will be able to coax him to spend time with them.

Standing up she looked at Takan and smiled gratefully.

"Thank you for the chat," she said. "And for your counsel."

Takan returned the smile, also leaving his cozy spot.

"As I said before," he muttered, "no thanks are needed. You are, after all, My Master's wife."

She laughed quietly and made her way to the bedroom to make sure her husband did not fall asleep in his robes again.


	9. Bad Times

__**A/N:** I thought about the timeline thing. Just to make things more clear, every chapter has an estimated date in the beginning, counting from the Invasion. Hope it will be less confusing that way. This chapter and the next are a direct effect of a conversation I was having with **LJu** about difficulties of living with Akkarin. He would be soooo bad at family life.

* * *

_About a year to fourteen months after the Ichani invasion  
_

_Sonea_

Sonea woke up to find Akkarin's side of the bed empty. It wasn't a nightmare, he tossed and turned enough to rouse her with these. He was either working or sulking again. She felt lonely and abandoned, not for the first time.

_Akkarin_

When he couldn't sleep, Akkarin would come into his son's room and watch the boy for a long time. Sometimes he would gently scoop the infant from his crib and cradle him in his arms. He liked these quiet moments. Judging from the way Lorkin was watching him, he liked them as well.

_Akkarin_

Sonea was not talking to him. Again. Jonna was giving him the hostile glances again and Akkarin knew that it had to have been something serious. Unfortunately, Takan had no clue as well, since Sonea avoided them both in her moments of unjustified anger.

He decided that direct approach might be the best. At diner, he calmly asked:

"What was it that I did to deserve your anger this time?"

She glared at him.

"Nothing," was her only answer as she turned back to her food. Well, that was informative.

_Sonea_

When Sonea had emerged from bedroom this morning, she found her husband by the table with some papers, completely disregarding the fact that his son was nearly choking on a piece of milk-soaked bread. Well, maybe not choking but his mouth was so full, it seemed ready to burst. Why did Jonna leave Lorkin alone with Akkarin? The man didn't even lift his eyes from his notes when she made her way to the infant and scooped him into her arms.

She was furious. He acted as if everything was more important than them. When she told Jonna about the situation later, her aunt agreed completely. She had only left for a short moment, certain that nothing would happen with Akkarin nearby. But seeing Sonea's agitation she easily believed that it was as bad as the young mother had described it.

When he asked her about the reason for her anger, she could barely contain a snappy comment at his tone.

"Nothing," she said. Because that is exactly what he had done.

_Akkarin_

Akkarin bolted awake. For a moment he was so disoriented that he did not recognize where he was. It had been _this_ dream again. The dream where everything seems normal, as if it was just another day at the Guild until it gets twisted beyond recognition. People, dead and alive, promises, whispered and shouted, waves upon waves of fear and anger…

Every time he had this dream he would have to take a long moment to gauge if it was indeed real. More than once he would find himself waking up only to realize that he actually hadn't, that the nightmare was not over. Fortunately, this time it seemed that he managed to force his way out of the dreamland and was sitting at his desk, where he had to have fallen asleep.

Vaguely he realized that he was panting. Even though it had been over a year, his body was still betraying him. It was difficult to learn the unconscious use of healing power to regulate his heart rate, much more difficult than the use of a shield in his sleep. Especially because healing had never been his forte before. He would still often wake to a burning sensation somewhere deep in his chest when his powers did not want to cooperate in his sleep. Now, gasping for air, he sent a small healing wave to where the tiny scar was cramping the most vital muscle of his body, making it stutter. He was aware that too much healing might do more harm than good. He would simply have to wait it out.

Or so he thought until he heard the knock on the door of his study.

_Not now,_ he thought as panic swept him. Even though it was a rare occurrence for him these days, every incident like the one he was having now would send Sonea over the edge of fear, worry and guilt over a healing not good enough all this time ago. She would fret for hours and worry herself sick, not to mention banning him from doing anything productive. He could not have that now. Not when the project he was working on was almost done. Not when Lorkin was suffering from colic for two days in a row. He simply had to make her leave.

Forcing himself into a semblance of control, he faced the opening door.

_Sonea_

She was tired. It was a nightmare to get Lorkin to stop crying but she managed. Deciding that this would be a good time to spend a moment with Akkarin, she knocked on the door of his study. He did not answer, which meant that he was either too engrossed in his precious papers or asleep. She did not let bitterness surface at the thought that he slept more on his desk than in their bed these days.

She opened the door, intending to coax her husband into joining her on a short walk.

The glare that greeted her made Sonea stop in the threshold.

"What do you need?" he asked in a clipped tone.

"I just..." she managed to stop herself from stuttering. Why did she feel like a frightened novice all of a sudden? "I wanted to ask you to join me on a walk."

The corner of his mouth dropped a fraction, showing his discontent.

"Not now. I'm busy."

"But…"

"Sonea," he barked with a huff. His voice was low and filled with something that made her shiver. "Do not disturb me. Leave."

The woman felt appalled. She didn't remember the last time he had used that tone with her. This was not her husband, this was the Black Magician speaking.

"Did you not hear me? Go," he barked and she could see his cold eyes leaving her face before the door closed in her face, pushed with his magic.

She had to make an effort to stop the tears from spilling.

_Akkarin_

They had a big fight today. Or rather, she was talking at him while he tried to understand what it was that she was angry about. He was gone for three days, sent to investigate reports of an infernal beast attacking a village North of Imardin. It was good that the Guild had acted so quickly, too – it seemed that polluted water had been causing a strange illness in wild animals and the "demon" had proven to be, in fact, a giant bear that had shed most of its fur, its skin aflame with rash oozing puss and blood. They found many more animals that needed to be put down.

He had expected a warmer welcome. Instead, he found out that no one informed Sonea of his sudden departure and she was getting sick with worry. He could understand that she needed to vent her anger but tired and irritated as he was, he had fallen for her ruse. The fight was over everything and nothing. His favorite kind – that led to no change whatsoever.

Happy that it was over, he finished his wine and joined his wife in bed. She had gone to sleep a while ago and he was glad that he could simply hold her before sleep claimed him. He would deal with her remaining anger in the morning.

_Sonea_

He was gone. When he did not come back home the first night, she was angry – his town errands were getting longer and longer. But when he remained absent after her return from the clinic the next evening, she began to wonder. By the time morning arrived, she was sick with worry. If it wasn't for Takan informing her of Akkarin's whereabouts, she might have gone looking for him.

She didn't really know why she had exploded when he came back. it wasn't his fault that no one thought to inform her. But all the anger, all the fright had broken the dam and poured in a single burst. As soon as she was done and safely hidden in their bedroom she had realized how unfair her actions were. Unable to sleep, she laid on the bed, fearing the next day. Surely, Akkarin would not let her forget this night. Sad and depressed she did not have the courage to let him know that she was not aleep when he finally came into the bedroom.

When he folded around her and sighed Sonea's heart swelled with hope. Maybe they argued a lot, maybe they were far from perfect together but hope remained.


	10. Clueless

_Fourteen months after the Ichani invasion_

Sonea smiled seeing Narrila's interactions with Lorkin. Akkarin's sister had finally had time to come by for a visit and was ecstatic to be able to spend some quality time with her younger brother's son. Ever since Lorkin was born, both Sonea and Narrila had little time to meet for longer than a quick visit.

During their first meeting almost a year ago, Narrila confessed that she feared Akkarin would never let himself get caught by any girl and – unlike the rest of his family – she was thrilled to meet Sonea. Even Akkarin's later opinion that the pleasantries were a part of Narrila's game of politics (he affirmed that she had always had a knack for scheming and since the Guild was now starting their first recruitment from outside the houses Narrila simply had to befriend the first dwell Magician), she had proven to be good company and the two women soon became something akin to friends. Narrila confessed that she loved her brother dearly and wanted to be on good terms with his wife. Akkarin had even confirmed that they were very close when he was younger – even if he had distanced himself from everyone these past years.

Narrila was both very similar and very different from Akkarin. Tall and dark-haired, she had the same dignified air about her, spoiled a bit by her consistently merry attitude. She was sharp and witty but also kind and honest. It was ironic that the same no-nonsense attitude was being executed so differently by the siblings.

"He is almost as adorable as my little boy," Narrila said, rocking Lorkin lightly. "Akkarin must be pleased to have such a fine son."

Momentarily, Sonea lost her good mood. Even though she tried to hide it, Narrila was fast to notice.

"Am I mistaken? Is something wrong?" Her inquiry was gentle and casual but she regarded Sonea carefully.

"He is just so confusing," the younger woman replied. Even though Narrila was old enough to be her mother, she never patronized her and Sonea was glad to have someone to confide in. Jonna, even though she was younger than Narrila, was much too old-fashioned to give adequate advice and Sonea quickly learned to take her advice in stride. But Narrila had a fresh perspective. She herself had gotten married very early and had a crash-course of trial and error on marriage problems behind her. And she knew Akkarin better than any other living person – besides Takan who was not the best man to talk to about her husband. Sonea sometimes selfishly wished that Lorlen was still alive, just to provide insight.

"Well, this _is_ Akkarin we are talking about," Narrila answered. "I thought that you knew what you were getting into."

"Yes, yes," Sonea said with a huff. "It's just… I imagined it would be different."

"How so?"

Seeing the concern mixed with mild curiosity, Sonea felt something snap in her. The history of the last year poured out of her in a rushed, bitter jumble.

In the beginning Sonea was ecstatic. A young woman in love, swept off her feet by more of a legend than a man. Akkarin was everything that young women found attractive. Handsome, dark and mysterious, always confident, always on top of the situation - no matter what it was. There seemed to be nothing he could not do, no one that could surpass him in any regard. And he was hers.

The first months of their marriage were pure bliss for her. She would grab every opportunity to spend time with him - he was so busy, she often had to stay up late into the night to exchange a few words with him before departing to bed. He was so responsible, after all. So dedicated to the Guild and Allied Lands. She admired that and strived to show the same commitment to mastering her lessons and later to her work in the clinic and caring for their newborn son. Her love easily coaxed forgiveness for every time Akkarin would snap at her irritably after a long day or cancel their plans together in favor of some business he had to attend. She told herself that it will change with time, when the city is rebuilt or maybe a bit later. That he would settle in his new role of a husband and father. That he would open up to her. She patiently waited for him to change.

He didn't.

Over a year after the invasion Akkarin was as absorbed with his work as when she had met him, only she had a better insight on how he was spending his days. There always seemed to be something to do, new tasks coming up and Sonea quickly learned to despise this state of affairs.

What worried her was that Akkarin was steering clear of home, particularly during the day. It did not take long to figure out why. And it broke her heart that he was avoiding his own son. Mostly he would come back late, when the small boy was long asleep. If he happened to stay in the apartment he mostly locked himself in his study. He was always pleasant when she came by there to talk but Sonea could not help feeling disappointed that it was always her that had to come to him.

On some days – more and more recently – he was much more irritable, getting annoyed with her for no apparent reason. Sonea could not understand that. Sometimes they would sit together, talking, only for him to suddenly change from friendly and open to the dark, reserved High Lord she had feared so much. She did not know the reason of these transformations but it would always make her feel disappointed and angry, especially when he got sarcastic or snippy.

"I know that he has a lot on his mind," Sonea added. "But so do I and I still find time for both Lorkin and him. Why can't he do the same?"

Narrila was watching her carefully, her gaze compassionate. Lorkin had fallen asleep in her arms, lulled by Sonea's voice and she carefully deposited him in his crib.

'What does Akkarin say to all this?" Narrila asked when they moved to the living room.

"We didn't talk about it," Sonea replied sourly.

"You didn't tell him any of this?" Narrila seemed surprised.

"I don't want to seem more obtrusive than I already feel," Sonea murmured. "I try to bother him as little as possible, since our presence appears to be a hindrance to him."

"Oh, Sonea," Narrila sighed and put a hand on her shoulder. "And you are surprised that things are not going well…"

"What do you mean?" Sonea said defensively, her temper rising. "You think that this is my fault, too? Jonna says that I need to change my attitude, Ce… my friend agrees with her, hell, even Rothen is defending him. And they don't like each other! I'm not the one shunning my family!"

An impatient glint showed in the older woman's eye but her voice was gentle when she spoke.

"Sonea, dear. I can assure you that Akkarin is not shunning you."

"Then why…" Sonea started but Narrila interrupted her.

"Because he doesn't know any better." She was watching Sonea with an odd expression, as if what she was saying troubled her. "You may think that he is exactly what you have described him but trust me, I am almost certain that Akkarin has _no idea_ what he's doing."

This made Sonea pause. As Narrila searched for understanding in her face, the young woman considered her words. Somehow it had never crossed her mind that Akkarin was as inexperienced in raising a family as she was. Only she had Jonna and Rothen to guide her while he… was alone. With startling clarity Sonea realized that her husband had no friends other than Takan who had been a slave his whole life. It seemed that both of them knew the basic of caring for a child – Akkarin had vaguely explained to her that if a slave had a child the whole commune would help raise it - but that was about it.

"Aren't these things being taught in the family home?" she asked incredulously. "You seem to have managed just fine."

"Believe me, if it wasn't for my friends, my marriage would not have lasted as long as it does. And the first years of it are not something we recall fondly." She then looked Sonea in the eye. "Also, Akkarin was in a far more delicate position. He is the youngest child. If it wasn't for his magical talent he might as well have not been there. Father is a cold, unforgiving man. Who was supposed to teach my brother these things? Governors? Servants?"

Sonea stared at her. Akkarin had never told her about his childhood. But from Narrila's carefully guarded expression she could infer that it might not have been the luxurious idyll she had envisioned.

"I imagine that he is struggling to figure this out and only becomes annoyed when he fails," Narrila continued. "But he's a man. A very observant one, granted, but a man nonetheless. You need to _tell him_ what he needs to do. He probably won't figure it out on his own. This is not something he can learn from his precious books. But you know what you're doing. He needs you to guide him. _You_ are _his_ mentor now."

That would actually explain a lot. All the times he simply stood by, waiting for her to take control of the situation – she had always accused him of indifference. Him getting irritated at her when she assumed things or gave him the silent treatment. In light of Narrila's suggestion she could not blame Akkarin for avoiding home and focusing on his work. There he knew what he was doing. He was not dependant on anyone.

Suddenly her own anger and reproach seemed thoughtless and immature.

"Oh," she stuttered, feeling ill.

"Don't get me wrong, you're both to blame," Narrila said casually, reaching for her cup of sumi. "He is much too stubborn for his own good. And it wouldn't kill him to just _ask_."

"Well, it _is_ Akkarin we are talking about," Sonea replied and they both smiled.


	11. Mend

**A/N: **I know for a fact that a lot of people are reading this. I demand feedback. I mean, pretty please?

* * *

Akkarin was sitting at his desk, searching the books for some answers he desperately needed for his studies. The spell he was working on could be a breakthrough for the defenses of the Guild and possibly whole of the Allied Lands but the Magician was at a point where he loathed his work. It was taking all his time and attention, not to mention physical and magical strength while all he wanted was to finally be able to spend some time with his wife and son. Even though Lorkin was playing in his room next door and Akkarin could probably go to him any time, he simply _needed _to finish this once and for all. Then he could rest.

The quiet creak of the door opening made him raise his head in irritation. He had asked Jonna to leave him be when he was working many times but the older woman felt compelled to ignore his wishes.

He raised his braw in surprise at the sight of his two-year-old son standing in the doorway.

Lorkin was peeking at him from above his tiny fists that were clutching something wooden and colorful. His features were what caught Akkarin's attention. The boy looked like something terrible had happened but he was trying desperately to keep a straight face. In a moment of clarity Akkarin realized something - it was the exact same face he knew he was showing his own father when he was little.

His father was a topic that would always leave a sour taste in Akkarin's mouth. Even though he had never been openly violent, the aristocrat was the main reason of any and all hurt in the house Velan. Peytin was as cold as an iceberg and never showed any emotion other than anger, disappointment or disdain to his family. Aside from formal functions the only time he would spend with them was when he was checking their progress in whatever he had appointed them to do. And whatever he or his siblings would accomplish, he would never be satisfied. Studies, swordsmanship, etiquette – he would always presume them to exceed his expectations. Ones that were much too high for the three children.

Least of all him.

Akkarin was the youngest of three children and as far as his father was concerned, he could have not existed until he was accepted into the Guild. Unless, of course, he had done something wrong or not near-perfect. But he would not get a scolding then like other children from the Houses they would often visit. No, Peytin would only look at him with disappointment written all over his face. It had been something that Akkarin loathed more than the beating he would sometimes get from his tutor after a lesson going awry. That is why he had dedicated himself to pleasing his father at a very young age. He had sacrificed his life to mastering his lessons and it soon became apparent that he was exceeding his older siblings in knowledge and skill on various fields. He had been called a genius at the age of seven for the first time. But that was not enough. His father would still look down upon him with no trace of warmth. It had taken Akkarin years to realize that it will not change. That is why instead of pleading and hope he would put indifference and dignity in his expression. To not give his sire the satisfaction of seeing him care. To not show how he wished for more.

As much as possible for a two-year-old boy, Lorkin's face was conveying the same attempt at distancing himself.

It rattled Akkarin more that he thought possible.

Was he as much of a monster his own father had been?

"Is something the matter, Lorkin?" he managed to choke noticing that he's been staring for far too long and the child was squirming uncomfortably under the weight of his gaze. Lorkin hesitated for a moment but seemed to come to a decision. He extended his arms and revealed what he was holding.

It was a small, wooden horse blotched randomly with paint of every possible color. Lorkin loved the thing and could be seen playing with it most of the time, even going as far as bringing it with him to the table during their meals. But now one of the thick legs was broken, laying on top of the toy on Lorkin's open palms. Akkarin could guess how terrible that must be for the baby. Wondering why his son had not shown this to Takan who was supposed to be watching him during Jonna's trip to the market, he quickly discovered through the blood gem that his servant was fetching some food for Lorkin's breakfast. He turned his attention back to the issue at hand.

"Come closer," he said and moved his chair to be able to face Lorkin when he made his way to his side. He could see the boy's reluctance to disturb him fighting with hope. Instead of simply taking the toy from his hands Akkarin scooped the boy up and seated him in his lap. Lorkin apparently did not expect that and Akkarin could not blame him. They did not spend much quality time together these days, with him being much too occupied with his work – a fact Sonea had pointed out numerous times. But even though the man felt guilty, he could not simply stop his work now. He was too close to finishing the spell. It was as if a fever was burning in his body, forcing him to go on. This was too important.

If only Lorkin could understand that.

Now the boy stared at him with wide eyes, obviously not knowing what to do. Akkarin gently took the wooden horse from him and examined it carefully.

"What caused this unfortunate damage?" he asked mildly, circling Lorkin with his arm to better hold the horse. Unconsciously, the boy leaned a bit on his forearm.

"I fall on Boo," his son muttered, guilt lacing his words.

"Did you hurt yourself?"

"N-noo," Lorkin responded bravely, not aware that his father had already sent some power to quickly examine his body and heal a small bruise that was forming on his knee. "You fix Boo?"

Akkarin had to smile at the badly formed question and the name Lorkin had given his wooden friend. He looked the boy in the eye and nodded.

"Do not fret, Boo will be fine in just a moment."

With that he gathered a bit of power and lifted both the toy and its leg to hover before them. Lorkin watched with wide eyes as his father focused on moving it back into its rightful place and willed the matter to mend. For most of the Guild's magicians it was not an easy task and would have taken some time and much power. Fortunately for Lorkin, Akkarin was used to forming matter according to his wishes. In only minutes the horse looked as if nothing ever happened to it. As the toy gently moved to rest in his tiny hands, the boy smiled brilliantly, his eyes shining with grateful relief. He looked up in his father's eyes and Akkarin could not stop a smile of his own.

"Thank you, daddy," the boy squeaked before turning his gaze back to the toy. Starting to mutter childish gibberish he sank into the world of his imagination, leaning on his father's chest. The man felt a pang of irritation at the boy for disturbing him further but after a moment of consideration he decided that it didn't matter much. He reached for one of the books scattered on his desk and made himself comfortable.

When Jonna entered the room Takan was calmly polishing cutlery, standing next to the biggest cupboard in the apartment. Lorkin was nowhere in sight.

"Where…" she began but the Sachakan silenced her with a finger to his lips and then pointed to the half-open door of Akkarin's study. Jonna cautiously peeked inside.

Akkarin was seated in his enormous armchair, two books levitating next to him and a third one in his left hand. With his right he was absentmindedly stroking Lorkin's hair, threading his long fingers through the brown locks. The boy was fast asleep, his body curled into a loose ball in his father's lap. Boo, the wooden horse was resting in his tiny hand.

Jonna smiled with relief. She hoped that Sonea will come home soon to see this.


	12. First Fight

During the first two years of their marriage Sonea and Akkarin did not argue. Mostly because they didn't have time for arguing. In the beginning each had their own work, restoring the city, finishing studies, opening the first clinic in the slums, the first spying missions. When Lorkin was born, Sonea even found herself glad that her husband was away so much and that she didn't have to split her time between the man and the child. She patiently listened to Akkarin's excuses and compassionately consoled him as his grief over not spending enough time home grew.

Neither of them really noticed when reluctant resignation to this fate changed into quiet disdain. Seemingly suddenly they realized that postponing their lives together 'until everything settled' was only a sad lie an inexperienced mother who had never had time to cope with her life and a workaholic, emotionally disturbed man driven by obligation had woven for themselves. Patience and tired optimism were somehow replaced with mistrust of the other's intentions, reluctance to be the first one to admit to wrongdoings and avoidance. For a time ignoring the issue worked, more or less but without any change the problem not only did not disappear, it grew into an ugly monster lurking under their cold bed.

It was only a matter of time before it exploded in their faces.

After a time neither of them could recall the whole fight they had had that day. It was as if all the anger, bitterness and impatient irritation changed the event into a series of flashes consisting of individual statements or short exchanges. It didn't even start bad. But none of the monumental fights ever do. All it takes is a one wrong word for all hell to break loose.

They had no idea how a matter of late dinner turned into… _this._

* * *

"…but when do you think _this_ will change?!"

"Sonea, you know that I have obligations…"

"The city is repaired! There is no immediate threat! What else is keeping you away?!"

"You knew perfectly well who I am when you were reciting the marriage oath!"

"But you also promised that things would look different!"

"I hoped that they would. But I cannot simply stop being responsible for the Guild all of a sudden."

"This is not your responsibility now! We are!"

"It would be best if you lowered your voice."

* * *

"Jonna, I think it would be prudent if you took Lorkin for a walk. Or to visit Lord Rothen."

"Yes, Lord Akkarin."

"I trust you to be sensible and not blabber about this."

"Akkarin!"

"No, Sonea, he has a point. Lord Rothen would only worry, maybe even come here and meddle. You need to figure this out on your own."

* * *

"She doesn't like you even without your snide remarks! Are you happy now?!"

"Don't be absurd."

"Ah, of course. I forgot. You are _never_ happy."

* * *

For a brief moment Sonea wondered if the hurt he was showing in his glare was another calculated move on his side. It frightened her that a thought like that could even enter her mind. At the same time she noticed the expression of his face change and she realized, mortified, that he had just now read her surface thoughts.

* * *

"Do you really think me to be such a calculating bastard?!"

"How could you! You _promised _not to do that!"

"Do not change the subject!"

* * *

"Yes, yes. I read your surface thoughts. You wish to know why? Because you are _incomprehensible_."

"Do _not_ point your finger at me like that!"

"Why not? You have probably already read far more into it than it really means!"

"I do not read into your behavior!"

"Woman, I just read your mind. Your lies are as futile as your attempts to guilt me into neglecting my duties."

"I most definitely do not try to guilt you into anything!"

* * *

In hindsight she should have thought before making another accusation. Just when he seemed to be calming down, she had to come up with "you lie to me". His whole demeanor changed then faster than it took her to blink. From an exasperated man he shifted into the dangerous, dark High Lord and Sonea knew that she had made a mistake. His eyes narrowed as he bent a little and ostentatiously measured her with his cold glare.

"What is this that I see," he said with exaggerated incredulity. "Might that be an aura of _hypocrisy _surrounding you?"

"W-what?" she stuttered, thrown off by this unusual display.

"You are the last person to chastise me about lies, dear Sonea. Not only do you not tell me things…"

"That is not…" she wanted to protest, even though deep in her heart she knew that he was right. But Akkarin did not allow her to finish.

"Not true? Indeed? Then how come I found myself in the predicament of getting to know about my son's first step from a servant instead of my wife?"

There was a moment of silence in which Sonea felt herself blush.

"That day," he continued, his voce frosty, "I specifically sat in the living room and waited for you to come back home and brag to me about how our glorious, intelligent, beautiful firstborn had made not one but three steps all on his own. You accuse me of neglecting you but instead I was the one that found myself cut off as you strode past me without a glance."

"I…"

"No, no. Do not trouble yourself with explaining. And this example is beside a point. What I was going to say is that you lie to me so much that it became a necessity for me to resort to magic. I might have the advantage of great perceptive ability. But with you… it is simply not enough! "

"Surely, it is not so!"

"Sonea, how many times have you answered my simple question of 'what is the matter?' in a manner other than 'nothing'?"

* * *

"How _can_ I fully include you?! You are never here! You are either out in the town doing Guild's dirty work, at the palace or pouring over this secret spell you would not tell me about. I barely see you, Lorkin growing up almost fatherless and I am sick of this madness!"

* * *

It might have been the sight of her unshed tears that had deflated the bubble of anger he had surrounded himself with. It might have been the fact that he was not used to pouring his heart out like that. Akkarin felt tired. He knew that she wanted to say more. To shout out all her pain and disappointment at his negligence, all the loneliness and frustration. He had known for a while now. His worst nightmare was coming true, he was hurting the only people in the world that mattered to him in the process of… what? He knew what. And he needed her to understand.

Swallowing, he looked out the window, aware of her desperate gaze piercing him.

"I know," he answered to her earlier accusation. "But these are things… The truth of the matter is that I have never expected to do them. My survival was never an option. Until you captured me, that is."

He glanced at her. Sonea looked mildly disgruntled but he knew that this time it was caused by his admission. She hated it when he brought up his own death. He steeled himself to continue.

"What I am doing now is everything that I had to postpone indefinitely. Things I would have never done. And suddenly it feels as if I were to explode from the inside if I did not finish them."

He watched her face carefully and was pleased to find what he was looking for.

She understood.

* * *

"I just… need you to be here, with us. I worry about you and I worry about us."

"Little one, you would agonize over everything."

She smiled a small, teary smile.

"Perhaps. But while you think of all the monumental problems, someone has to think of the every-day ones."

"And for that I am eternally grateful to you, my dearest."

"In all your gratefulness will you try to lighten of obligation that you are putting on yourself?"

"You mean will I exchange work obligations for house obligations?"

Seeing her eyes narrowing with rapidly rising temper, he swiftly gathered her to his side, not allowing her to speak. He looked down at her and smiled with fondness.

"I will, gladly," he said and kissed the top of her head.

* * *

"Jonna will probably be back soon."

"Indeed. I suggest we move this conversation elsewhere."

"I thought that we settled things for now?"

"We did. But I predict that you will not remain calm, regardless."

"And why is that?"

"Because you never do when I do this…"

"Oh! Mmmm…"

"Or this…"

"Ah…"

"Still reluctant to move?"

She only giggled as they drifted towards their bedroom.


	13. Squabble

**A/N:** So my brain has a little freeze time. Here, have a drabble until I figure the next two or three chapters out.

Akkarin shifted from one side to another in hopes of finding a comfortable position but sleep still eluded him. Yes, he had to admit that he might have been just a tad too terse today but as he recalled the squabble, he could not fathom how it had escalated into what he could call a fairly good representation of how a possessed person might act. They had had that kind of conversations before and Sonea had never acted as if she suddenly lost her mind.

He had to admit that he might have acted a bit childish as well. Still. This should not have been the outcome. He had been exiled, again. By none other than his beloved wife. It did not ease his temper that he could clearly feel Takan's amusement.

And so Black Magician Akkarin of family Delvon, house Velan, former High Lord of the Magician's Guild, the most powerful Magician of his generation, squirmed uncomfortably on the tiny couch.


End file.
